The Underballing Issue

No, this isn’t a post about my significant other’s failure to cup the balls properly.  Much like the text messages on Tom Brady’s cellphone, that’s none of your business.  I’m just getting sick of everything Ballghazi-related getting spammed with Underball going into contortions to defend the Patriots.  I feel like some punitive action is necessary, even if just for my own amusement, and the Nat Turner extension is pretty much my only weapon, so it will mostly just be a fun way to amuse myself (and hopefully others) that he won’t even know about. What should I do?  Via the extension, I have the ability to change his username, modify his avatar, or do text replacement on any of his komments.  Suggestions?  Remember, this is entirely for my/our own entertainment; he won’t be able to see it (unless he installs the extension himself) and it won’t be visible to anyone who *isn’t* running the extension. Your thoughts?

ANOTHER UPDATE: Following Cuntler’s suggestions, here’s what I see.  It’s not practical for long-term purposes, but it does make me laugh, which was the whole point.



26 thoughts on “The Underballing Issue

  1. Can you change CBQUE’s avatar to a white dickbutt on a black background, and Underball’s avatar to a black dickbutt on a white background, and change CBQUE’s comments to ‘HERP, HERP, HERP…” and Underball’s comments to “DERP, DERP, DERP…”? I think that would be perfect.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is actually pretty damned fantastic. In theory I could actually do it so that any komment thread they both replied to would change all their comments within that thread to exactly that. Unfortunately, that would take a good bit of work. Or maybe not. Perhaps I’ll tinker with it under the guise of “learning more jquery”.


  2. Okay, I totally forgot that I did this because Underball had been so silent yesterday, but today I opened up Ape’s post about comparing suspensions to Ray Rice and saw Underball’s comments “blah blah”ed out and literally burst out laughing.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m kind of with Monty; the actual points he tries to make aren’t completely insane, just a bit biased. I mean, after all, 538 notwithstanding, I really don’t think the Patriots are actually getting a competitive advantage. They’re kind of like Wile E. Coyote; they ARE doing bad things, but to no discernable effect.

    All that said, it’s all about tone, and his posts just drip with condescension while at the same time resorting to juvenile taunts. So fuck that guy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. But yeah, CBQUE isn’t helping by getting down in the mud with him. If you argue with a horse, even if you win, you’re a guy arguing with a horse.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I actually do think they got an advantage given the abnormally low fumble rate that’s been documented and debated everywhere. Regardless, their whole attitude of “it’s a stupid rule, we’re not going to follow it” is bad in the same way that white people can consume large amounts of illegal drugs without any repercussions but god forbid a black/brown person does! That dahkie is going straight to jail!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Since I almost never komment on the komputer, the extension doesn’t do much for me. However, I applaud the decision to use dickbutt. I suggest changing the text of his comments to “silent fart, deadly fart”


  5. Change his name to Budweiser and have every word turn into #UpForWhatever

    Because that won’t get annoying.


    1. I’ve actually put some serious consideration into expanding this into a genuine user-controlled extension (i.e. if someone bugs you a bunch, you can just make them up and disappear from your entire browsing experience) and that would be an interesting way to monetize it; instead of showing you the user’s comment, it would replace it with an ad.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Just cut me in for at least a few percentage points. I have no qualms about selling out.


  6. For my own personal amusement (it shows up only on my computer; I didn’t add it to the extension) I turned all his comments into “blah blah blah blah”. It’s cathartic for me.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I honestly have not spent much time there lately (the morons are out in full force) but there’s nothing more annoying than an oblivious fan that defends his team from every perceived slight. It’s such a myopic view of the world to just believe that your team is always right, and never does anything wrong.

    Why yes, I am a St. Louis Cardinals fan. Why do you ask?

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Leave him be.

    Stupid is as stupid does, and holy shit is that boy stupid.

    I, for one, welcome our Idiot Overlord.

    If nothing else his shallow arguments and immediate devolution into ad hominem attacks allow for even more glorious, glorious Patsenfreude.


  9. Well, I decided to keep it simple and just change his avatar into Dickbutt. Perhaps later I’ll get tired of it and change it to something else, or replace every instance of “Patriots” he types with “CHEATRIOTS”, but for now it makes me chuckle to see Dickbutt’s smiling face, so mission accomplished.


    1. Fair enough; I just want to do something that will make my instinctive reaction to his posts one of “heh heh, dickbutt” (or equivalent) amusement as opposed to “oh god, this guy again” irritation.


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