Friday Follies

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It’s the weekend, kids.  Let’s all say awful things about each other/other people in the comments and start the weekend off on the lowest note possible.

60 thoughts on “Friday Follies”

  1. I’m probably late enough that no one will read this, but what the hell.

    Can we all agree that we won’t even click on the crossposted articles? I really don’t want to encourage these assholes to ruin KSK even more than they already have. If their crossposts get no clicks, maybe they’ll make it stop.

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    3. Yes! I’ve already started. Any article written by someone I don’t recognize gets ignored.

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      1. I did. It’s him. Apparently it’s just some quirk of the wordpress/uproxx changes and the fact that he wrote across WG/WL under the same account or something. Anyhow, it’s not some awesome subversive thing. Just a glitch in the matrix.

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      2. It makes me feel like a stalker that I saw that and immediately said “oh, that’s Ufford’s email.”

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    1. SPOILER ALERT!

      One thing about that movie is still kicking in my brain: The “bait” that was naked on the platform on top of the pole had a kickass body. Then, when she came down and got dressed, she looked old and MILFY. Body double or was that really her? If so, kudos to her and her physical trainer!

      If you go see it, report back and let me know what you think.

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      3. I just looked up the actress on IMDB. She is certainly hot and MILFY at 38. I now think that is her actual body.

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  5. A random thought about clickbait/listicles:

    Through a random past connection (made, somehow fittingly enough, through the early years of SuicideGirls.com), I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Seanbaby in person numerous times throughout the years. Seanbaby, if you’re not familiar, is known for a variety of hilarious articles on the internet and in EGM. Dude is funny (and also really hardcore about Muay Thai, which is also cool). Some of his work on Cracked.com brings me to tears (http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-50-creepiest-pieces-romance-advice-ever-published/ or http://www.cracked.com/blog/ong-bak-2-action-porn-evolved/ or http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-most-spectacularly-unsexy-workout-videos-ever/ for instance)

    Anyway, they slowly but surely devolved so that every single article title began with a number. Yes, it was fluff and easy humor and idiot-crowd-sourced photoshop “facts” lists, but there were some amazing gems in there, and it was clear that Seanbaby was heads and shoulders above the rest of them when it came to ideas and smarts and format and whatever else. Gradually, though, everything just began to be simplified and ended up sucking ass.

    Ergo, Uproxx, and the gradual asphyxiation of KSK.

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    1. No one has ever gone broke in the US by catering to the lowest common denominator. I blame the corporate greed of online media companies, Uproxx included.

      I want Mike and the other bloggers I like to be able to make a living doing what they do, but, from what I can see, Mike still has to move furniture and he runs the damn site! If they are all going to need other jobs to get by, what’s the point of lowering the standards?

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    2. Oh man. Seanbaby was one of my favorite Cracked writers too. I still like the site, but I don’t click on every article like I used to – hell, I avoid Adam “Glue Sniffing” Tod Brown.

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  7. I can’t name one thing Big Sandy wrote. Also, is he the same person as Old James? I honestly have no idea. Further, Sepp Blatter and the Duggars make me sad for the state of the world. Is there any chance we can trade CBQUE and Underball and the rest of them to get Vontaze and Otto back? Too much telling and yelling these days and not enough funny.

    Anyway, have a nice weekend, fellas.

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    2. Yeah. The Otto thing is pretty telling.

      Vontaze is just busy being a mom in her first year on her first child. That plus avoiding trolls is a pretty compelling case to skip visiting Uproxx.

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      1. I’ve still found Old James and Big Sandy to be funnier than Sugar. I agree that neither of them particularly stand out, but I remember having laughed at their stuff at some point.

        I tend to be a worrier, but I’m really worried that KSK is nearing a time when it won’t be worth visiting. I think it can be saved if all of the Kommenters stay there and keep making the funny, and just ignore the decrease in quality of Kontent. But I don’t know if we will all be motivated to do that, and as the Kommenters wander away, one by one, that will be the end of KSK being worth reading.

        And I don’t know what happened to Mike. He has written some absolutely hilarious shit, but that’s almost entirely in the past, and nowadays it kinda feels like he’s mailing it in.

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      2. Yeah, I’m really curious to see what it looks like by the time the season starts. It could be a very important NFL season for KSK.

        I think you’re right about Mike, and, to be honest, I couldn’t blame him if he’s mailing it in and getting a paycheck and just keeping KSK afloat right now. At this point, if he can just post some news and do PK and keep a few other spare parts going and cash it in a bit, I don’t begrudge him a thing.

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      3. Hey, KSK was born out of Deadspin. Maybe the next great site will be born out of KSK. And yes, I’m talking about this site.

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    5. I’m hoping that once the season starts everything will be all right again. I think the offseason means people give fewer fucks and have to reach for material. If the season sucks though…

      Of the newer crew, I enjoy Old James. He’s really funny, he just doesn’t write enough.

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      1. Yeah, not sure what happened to the pitching. Kennedy’s ERA looks like a jumbo jet right now. No idea what happened to Ross. Cashner can’t buy run support or get himself out of jams. And Kimbrel is less than automatic too. Maybe they thought all the bats would bail them out every game. At least I get to see Shields pitch and he is somehow 6-0.

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  10. OSZ is an arrogant prick who was lucky to be born to a decent family which provided him with his stunningly good looks, wicked sense of humor, appreciation for the right girl scout cookies and natural aversion to the worst ones, and overall natural charm. He’s the worst. I hope he runs into the business end of a burger and a beer this weekend and feels all sorts of guilt about his undeserved privilege in this world.

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  11. Here goes:

    Uproxx is ruining our precious KSK!

    Johnny Sugar cannot suck my dick because he would invariably screw it up.

    CBQUE needs to stop paying attention to Underball and underage Indian girls.

    JJFozz is the new Fek. And I love it!

    I’m surprised Trevour Risk is not a Steelers fan considering the teams he roots for and the fact he lives in Vancouver.

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    1. Death to false KSK crossposts!

      Johnny Sugar would be the worst columnist if it wasn’t for Dustin or Stacey. I’m not convinced they’re not all just staffed by a rotating cast of anonymous recent college grads.

      Let’s all sign a pact to ignore CBQUE to the best of our abilities. No need to encourage him whatsoever.

      I used to like Trevour Ruiusuk. Now I’m lukewarm on him. RFD is still, for my money, the best of the new staff. I wish StuScottsBooYahs would do more.

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      1. CBQUE wasn’t like this before. I actually liked his komments. I think his Pats hatred and Underball’s trolling got to him and he’s changed. Lost some of his sense of humor and perspective.

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    2. I’m not surprised by the cross-contamination of the Uproxx-ery, but I’m pretty disappointed. I used to really like WG, Gamma Squad and Filmdrunk, and now Vince and Danger are the only non KSK writers I read, and Ape and RFD are the only guys at KSK I read regularly. You can see what gets them hits, though, and it’s not the quality stuff. It seems like it’s “Let’s Remember Shit From the 80’s”, “Why You Should Like Stupid Shit That Pays Us” or “Here’s Everything/All The Reasons Why Shit Happened” are the main culprits.

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      6. I still blame everything on BuzzFeed. It’s not as big as it used to be, but I still see far too many shiticiles from a college friend and my girlfriend and her friends.

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