I understand why many of you might not get hockey.

You were either never exposed to it or you were born after 1985.

Because hockey when I grew up was so incredible you wouldn’t believe it if you saw it live today.

And here we go…I agree with Bill Simmons.

There’s no way anyone who wasn’t being paid by a competitor rival to destroy its competition could possibly have fucked up anything as badly as Gary Bettman has the NHL in service to David Stern and the NBA.

Gary Bettman’s league of Gritscrapular Whiteitudes beating the fuck out of one another can’t outrate a league of Gloryboy Thosepeoples lobbing a ball into a hole?

In a militarized nation so scared of Gloryboy Thosepeoples that Gritscrapular Whiteitudes allow them to be shot to death in the name of the state by the hundreds every year?

That’s not a bug, that’s a feature.


12 thoughts on “Hockey

  1. I saw the Hawks play in old Chicago Stadium during the 1980s, and I remember never being more frustrated with any game than the first game of the ’92 cup final where Lemieux brought the Penguins back from a 4-1 deficit (although I respected the hell out of that Pittsburgh team) and they eventually swept the series. Unfortunately, the Blackhawks were basically shuttered for 25 years after that by the owner, fucking Dollar Bill Wirtz. That asshole invested little money in payroll and BLACKED OUT THE TEAM LOCALLY in the 1990s and 2000s until he died. There were games in the late ’90s that I attended that were probably seen by less than 1,000. People that don’t realize that Chicago has been a dormant hockey town because of the poor ownership during that time and call Chicago fans out as bandwagoners usually don’t understand how badly Dollar Bill alienated the fan base. A modern comparison would be what the Monforts are doing the Colorado Rockies.

    My oldest now plays and loves hockey, and I will care less if he becomes a Bears fan than if he becomes a Blackhawks fan. Hell yes, this sport is so much better than the NBA. I accept that other fans hate the Hawks run for whatever dumb sports fan logic they have, but they have a great up-tempo style that is fun to watch. They are also a rare team in the salary cap era in that the core has been kept together, and in Chicago, in that they are competently managed. This current iteration is great for the city and the fans, so I ignore the seething hatred people have for the team. In 2010, over 2 million people attended the victory parade and rally in Grant Park, more than twice as many that attended the same for the Bulls in 1991 (although this picture is from 2013).

    This is why I love the team, and I why your hatred sustains me. Let’s go Hawks!


    1. As a Kings fan, I respect the hell out of the Hawks for exactly the reasons you mentioned: They are keeping their core together, their style of play is attractive, and they are a damn good team.

      Plus, we have a nice little rivalry going now based on Conference Finals, which is cool.


    2. You are totally right. I’m familiar with old man Wirtz and what he did to that team, and in another universe, I’d be pleased for their well-deserved success. But in this universe I have petty sports hate, and that’s kind of what makes sports fun…the freedom to indulge petty hate with no real-world consequences.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Not only do I want the Blackhawks to lose, I want to hear the lamentations of their women and see their rivers run red with blood. Not that I’m too into sports or anything.

    I especially want them to lose after the way they won tonight. The Blackhawks have some kind of voodoo magic that makes shit like that happen for them all the time. I imagine the bill is nothing less than Tommy Hawk’s soul.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Did you watch the game? Tampa deserved to lose. They are a fast team who dominates when they put the puck on the net. Last night, they did that for the first half of the first period, scored, and then were content to sit on their heels and counter attack. Why they took their foot off of the gas baffles me. The best offensive team in the game this year had one fucking shot in the first 13 minutes of the 3rd. One fucking shot! That would be like Green Bay taking the air out of the ball in an important game to hold onto a tenuous lead, which would make no sense (heh, heh, stupid McCarthy). The few Tampa fans I know are pissed at the coaches, and they started venting about how they were going to lose as early as the second period last night.


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