Is The Glass Half Full Or Half Empty?

Here’s the thing about the glass half full/half empty argument. It’s not even half full. It’s like, maybe a quarter, tops. Look at it! Look at that glass! Shit, did someone drink out of my glass? I swear it was half full before. Goddammit, who drank out of my glass?!! I had a more-than-half full glass here and now there is less than a quarter left. HAVE YOU NO RESPECT FOR OTHER PEOPLE’S DRINKS? What if I just came along and drank and ate everything that is yours? Shit. And fucking no one is coming forward either. Way to own up to it, cowards. Jesus, I just wanted to drink my half-full drink. God, I’m so thirsty.

You know, actually I think I did drink it. Yeah, it was me. I forgot.

Upon a closer look, this was not my glass. Sorry to whoever’s drink I took.

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18 thoughts on “Is The Glass Half Full Or Half Empty?

    1. That reminds me, I was at Ikea last weekend and got french fries and a drink (Ikea french fries are actually good.) I walked ten feet to refill my lingonberry/diet cola combo (no, try it) and by the time I got back 30 seconds later, some asshole had shoved the last leftover bit of his hot dog bun into my still half-full fries instead of walking five more feet to the garbage can.

      Fucking savages in this town.

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      1. We all need glurgen. Some of us are lucky to have girlfriends or wives that will give it to us. You’re a lucky guy!

        Go meatballs!

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      2. Some people are just… ARRGGGHHHH, so lazy. Like so lazy that they can’t be bothered to be observant for one second. Those people deserve every bit of bad shit that happens to them.

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  1. True story: the other day I came downstairs and my dog, seeing me, tucked tail and hid under the chair for no apparent reason. Later on I realized it was because she had drank half a cup of tea that I’d left on the coffee table.

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    1. Those two are like the perfect partners in crime. It’s like the cat will do something and try to blame it on the dog and then the dog will try something because why can the cat do it and not me? and then she gets caught anyway.

      The beautiful thing is that they are so damn adorable that no one can ever get mad at them.

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