A Chili By Any Other Name

Hi everybody!

So, over the course of the next few postings I’m going to try and bring back the lost art of cooking.
I haven’t noticed a lot of females hanging around and I’m going to try to correct that.

With my penis!

No actually with my favorite and primary secret culinary condiment recipe that can be used in any situation!

It can save lives!

It has gotten me laid on more than one occasion!

Welcome to my cooking for people who really need to know how to cook whatever.

Chili Tepin.

This chili is pronounced chee-lay
not chill-ee

(2) 8 oz. cans of tomato sauce, Contadina if you can find it. Store bought if not, just don’t use Heinz.

1/2 tsp kosher salt.
3 cloves of fresh garlic – chopped – it doesn’t have to be minced.
1/8 oz to 1/4 oz of dried chili tepin.

This is my first post using the new site so I’ll try to grab an image or two and if it works, cool.
If not suggestions are helpful. But chili tepin are small red dried chili pods, they look like a dried pea. I can find them at my local whole foods or Super Mercado but I have a distinct geographic advantage that not all of you have. They grow in the Southwest, mostly Texas through Northern Mexico.

Try Amazon.

Anyway, take all of the ingredients and place them in a blender and grind for about 30-40 seconds.
Remember, we’re not making salsa or pico, we are making chili, it should have a smooth consistency.
Place in a container that is sure to be stained orange from here until the end of it’s useful life and place in the refrigerator.

I have to mention here that many people have said this is hot. Very hot.
I eat this with chips and use it as salsa.
I would brush my teeth with it!

Not really.

But add it to anything.
Eggs, nachos, marinara, as a garnish.

Get some chicken, get some cheese, get a flour tortilla and this sauce.
Warm your tortilla, chop your favorite chicken, add cheese and about 1-2 tbl of our sauce.
Grab a napkin and wait for the applause.

I would never give this recipe to someone I didn’t trust with it.

{edited on 6-11-15 for portion correction}

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15 thoughts on “A Chili By Any Other Name

  1. Oh, I miss California access to chiles. There’s actually a Mexican foods store in my city run by a guy from Dallas, but I’m not sure he has chili tepin. I’ll have to check it out.

    I bet this is good with Ro-Tel diced tomatoes that have the green chile in them. Ever tried that?

    Like

    1. I have! My dad was from Texas and he used Ro-tel all the time. It’s great in Jambalaya.
      And of course with a block of Velveeta and a big ol’ bag of Fritos Scoops.

      This isn’t a main course, obviously but it’s my own personal secret ingredient.
      I only share because I love.

      I use this as a “level up” on heat in any tomato based sauce but it was originally based on the hot sauces that San Diego taco shops used as a condiment to a carne asada burrito.
      I spent many nights in a drunken stupor ordering a carne asada burrito and a quesadilla with some hot sauce on the side.
      When I moved north to LA it was depressing how they couldn’t do carne asada right and much worse, their hot sauce was a joke.

      Use this and you will never need suffer again.
      I actually have some of this chili everyday because my endorphins love it.
      Try it with a basic tortilla chip and adjust your heat/salt levels accordingly.

      It’s all about the chicken burrito.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Awesome! I’m looking forward to more recipes!

    One question: How much will my asshole burn in the morning? Keep in mind that I’m Mexican, but not THAT Mexican.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You will actually be quite surprised at the low rectal burn rate. I have been using this recipe for many years and I have far more issues with wing sauce or jalapeños than this.
      No kidding about the heat level, a niece of mine said “ouch” the first time she tried some.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. That was fun. Let me know if I need to edit.
    Last thing I want is to be a PK blowhard.

    Oh? Did I mention that if the sauce is too……….

    Like

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