Who are you? Where are you going?

As some of you may have noticed, there’s been some talk of migrating away from wordpress.com and off to our very own home.  We’d still use wordpress for publishing (so nothing would be all that different); we’d just be hosted elsewhere.  If we do that, of course, our new manor will need a stately and respectable title, like “Monticello” or “Graceland”, except somehow including a dick joke.  To that end, much like Rob and Rex Ryan trying to figure out how to get the most bang for their buck at a Juarez whorehouse, we put together a healthy list of suggestions and narrowed it down to five lucky finalists.  Without further ado, and in no particular order, here are the finalists:

  • Big Dumb Football Idiots
  • Door Flies Open
  • We All Float Down Here
  • Football to the Groin
  • That’s Great Hustle

Here’s how the voting works: there are three polls below – select your first, second, and third choice, in order.  Please don’t game the system (i.e. pick the same thing three times, vote from multiple locations, etc.) I’ll keep this open until Friday, at which point we’ll declare a winner and celebrate by drinking a special ice-flavored whiskey that’s made by adding ice to whiskey (recipe to follow).

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you cannot get the polls to work, email me (comment below and I’ll send you the address) with your choices and I’ll add them manually when things get tallied.  And keep in mind that this move won’t happen until DTZM (who has already been incredibly generous with his time in setting this up) has some free time, so please be patient.


44 thoughts on “Who are you? Where are you going?

    1. Fingers crossed!! I am non-threatening, de-sexualized enough to have Covalent Blonde’s ACTUAL e-mail addy, so didn’t even have to DM her.

      Hopefully after the crossover/re-launch thingy, I will be able to register a normal account somehow. I have a WordPress account for the NC State blog I co-founded, but that login doesn’t work here. And when I try to “Register” via this blog, it tries to make me create a whole site, instead of just a user ID for this here place.

      So, I log in via Google+, but that periodically won’t work on my laptop (for reasons unknown) and then I have to do it on my old PC. Google+ Kommenting on this site always works there, just loads slow as shit.

      This is probably all just due to me being old, stupid, and/or too pilled out.
      ** GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!


  1. Since it doesn’t look like my first choice “We All Float Down Here”, (which is a terrific call back to Stephen King’s ‘The Stand’, as I’m sure Rowles would be happy to explain in no less than 4,000 words), I plan to demand a recount and recall and reelection just like the Tea Partiers in my town just did to the budget.

    So now we don’t have a budget. And yes, I know that prospective title came from ‘It’, but Rowles would fuck it up.



      1. Yeah Right, I mentioned that in my original comment. You probably missed that because you were overcome with the witticism of the first part. or you just saw “Rowles’ and stopped reading, which is normal.

        I’m curious what you thought of The Gunslinger series. I loved the first three books, liked the fourth one but started to get nervous about where things were going, and despised the last one.


      2. SPOILERS AND SHIT: I enjoyed The Dark Tower series, but the motherfucker walks into the tower, and . . . . he’s back in the desert. King is great about taking you on the journey, but the destination is usually questionable. The end of “The Stand” drives me crazy, because it is one of my all time favorite books until the end. It is a modern epic (in the Greek way, not in the “Man, last night was epic, bro!” way) and the stage is set for a battle for the ages, and . . . a crazy person blows up the bad guys with a nuke.


    1. I really liked Wolves of the Callah. I thought the Ted Brautigan addition to the breakers was inspiring and I was highly amused that King wrote himself into his own book so he could kill himself.
      He was obviously distraught over his real life near death experience.
      The ending of the series hurt my brain for a long time. I reread the entire series a couple of years back and I’ve finally warmed to the idea that the ending led right back to the beginning. Ka is a wheel after all.


      1. Oh yeah, looks like his newest book Finders Keepers just came out. I think it’s a sequel to Mr. Mercedes which I thoroughly enjoyed. Off to Amazon.
        If you haven’t read Revival yet you need to go get that shit right away.
        Definitely a throw back to early King.


      2. I thought Wolves of the Callah was OK but I absolutely hated King putting himself into the story, (and by the way pimping the shit out of his book ‘Insomnia’; fuck of the with the advertising dude), and for the the 5th and 6th books just had this sinking feeling that it was all going to go off the rails, then watching it go way off the rails in the finale. I think I hate-read the last book and a half.

        Apparently it’s a thing with writers with the surname ‘King’ to desperately need an editor to stand up to them.

        Having said that I think ‘It’ is legitimately one of the best stories ever, ‘The Stand’ was great right up to the end, but not at it, and some of King’s short story work is just fantastic.


  2. I am assuming “You’re right, but go fuck yourself” is taken? Shame. I find all of those titles to be perfectly cromulent, so I will abstain from voting. Nice work, kids.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Also: should we talk about recruitment? I’ve seen some folks find us–THAT’S GOOD!–but there are still many I think we would like to have come our way–THAT’S BAD!

    Ideas? Targeted DMs at Uproxx?


  4. All right, I voted. NOW WHERE’S MY POPSICLE?!?

    Oh, wait, this isn’t a local election? Oh.

    Anyway, where’s that whiskey recipe? I NEED CLOSURE ON THAT ANECDOTE!


    1. Oh, right!

      2 oz. whiskey

      1 large ice cube

      Add ice to glass.
      Add whiskey to glass.
      Remember that wife is still in room, quietly reading.
      Realize that she will probably notice if you go back for a second helping of whiskey.
      Add more whiskey.

      Liked by 3 people

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